An update from Jane - Diary 3.21.2020

Posted by Jane PARADIS on

Diary from Jane - Saturday March 21st:

Take Care

Our second installment of my diary of sharing, in hopes that we create a sense of community...sticking together through this unimaginable time.

Spoiler alert? The swing of good and bad continues and honestly feels more extreme. We are (obviously) quarantined, in the house, lots of walks, grocery store rarely and only as needed.

I hate to write things that are a downer but I want to remember this time. I had hyperemesis with both pregnancies and threw-up 40 times a day for 8 months – I forgot that. I want to remember this time because it is life changing for all of us. So, to rip the band-aid I will talk about the tough stuff, and then end on the good things. If you start reading you have to PROMISE to read to the end.

Big picture: All that matters in all this is human life. We have loved and traveled to Italy so extensively – I have been going to Capri since I was a kid. It feels like a special place I visit every year or every other year. It is close to my heart. When I watch the footage of the hospitals in Italy I cry and cry, and I don’t want the kids to see me so sad and scared (or typing and crying). I don’t want them to be as scared as I am that the same thing will happen here. 

Business SUCKS. I am not asking anyone to shop, I’m just saying! We have fought to build a company that is getting demo’d and it makes my heart break. I don’t sleep, I cry at night, when I do sleep I’m gritting my teeth so much it hurts all day. Why why why?? The bottom line is sales – we have normal days and then we have terrible days – lol so the sales are mirroring our mood 😊.

NYC factories are shut down, but not all of our factories are in New York. We are working to keep making things people want and creating new things for the future. It is a puzzle, developing things with factories we hope will be open in the coming weeks. Everything has components that happen multiple places so – will we get the piece cast but then the plater might be closed? We have someone to make the 14k pieces, but can they get the stones they need? It is a thousand times more complicated than past product development.

As I started Jane Winchester I was told no a thousand times, so I feel pretty resilient. And when we hit a dead end, we find another route. And instead of that happening 1 or 2 times a week, I get it all day and it stiiiinks. But...I am not giving up!

Ok, here’s some good stuff:

Wednesday night I had the most wonderful time with my daughters. We made shrimp scampi together, Sabrina got into a college (so exciting) and then we took the love language quiz for Tiki and it was hysterical. I highly recommend it for some evening entertainment:

I watched the news a lot but a bunch of it was the same so the scare factor wasn’t as high. Am I just numb and is that a good thing?

I made an appointment to give blood.

I bought something from a local boutique (do this if you can they need you, they are all posting on instagram and you can dm to shop!).

We found a factory in Thailand…this is a bit confusing as we have so proudly made everything we could in the US, but the bottom line is that we need more diverse factories. This new product has been a joy to develop and we have samples coming in a few weeks. I have visited Thailand and adored it, so I am looking at this as an opportunity to make Jane Winchester stronger through diversifying our production. I will never give up on US production...keep reading...

I have decided to take the next step in my dream to have a caster and finisher in house. I’ll work to figure out what this means, and we could probably get it done in 2021? You have to set the goal to make it a reality…so here it is out in public. I want to build a ‘simon pearce’ type model of having product made here, customized etc. Stay tuned for more.

That’s my list. And I don’t want to end on a low note, but I had a bit of a realization this morning when I didn’t want to get out of bed...I feel dread when I wake up. I don’t think I have felt that before. You sleep in your same bed and when you wake up all is normal, until you remember that nothing is normal. And what was a driving force for you – jumping up to make the kids breakfast and get them to school, loving my orange theory class, designing our new showroom and selling product and meeting friends for drinks and planning for the future – none of that is happening. Now I feel like I want to hide in my bed. I quickly remember that I have to keep going for the kids and for Jane Winchester. But the dread and the uncertainty are the blankets that are covering me. I know it sounds silly, but I couldn’t quite verbalize the way I felt and this is what I came-up with. I am sure everyone feels their own version. All that matters is that we keep people ALIVE. It doesn’t feel like I have the right to mourn going to a work-out class when we have much bigger issues, and that makes me feel worse.

I went to bed Friday so sad. I played that game: what is your Corona Virus Nickname (how you are feeling plus what you ate last) and my name was SAD PIZZA. But I woke up today ready to take it all on and be positive. I am going to take a run. And learn to make French bread with my kids. Going to try and take a day off from the emotion. Wish me luck.


Sending just an enormous amount of love out to you.

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